Sweet Madigan,
My heart aches to be with you everyday but today it aches that much harder. Today you are 8 years old, the last birthday we spent with you you were just turning 3. We went to Disney World and ate dinner at the Beasts Castle. I’m so glad we got to have that special day with you. I try to imagine what you would be doing at this age. Would you still love baby dolls, Brave, and signing at the top of your lungs? Would you still be the funny sweet mischievous little monkey or would you have grown out of that phase? I know you would have been an amazing big sister, I bet you Sadie and Mason would be so fun to see together. I miss you to the moon, and wish that I could do more than wonder who you would be. I’m grateful that your energy still surrounds us and that when we quiet our minds from all of the hard stuff I know we can find you there. Some days that’s harder than others.
If you were here with me today I would be taking you out to celebrate your special day. Maybe we would have gotten pedicures before heading out to see a movie, then we would have come home and celebrated with treats with your cousins and our family. Instead today I woke up with tears, I poured through pictures and videos from Aunt Becky and Uncle Nick in hopes to find a new picture or video, and now I’m writing to you. We’ll break out the Christmas decorations today like we do every year because you loved the lights. I’m thinking I’ll take your smallest siblings to watch a concert and hope Morgan tags along. We will get hot chocolate inspired by you and your sister. Then we’ll send you our hugs, kisses and love notes on balloons. There will be a lot of tears today and hopefully some smiles too.
From the day you were born rushing in 9 weeks early you soothed my heart and soul. You are intelligent, empathetic, giving, creative, and oh so perfect for our family. You loved with every piece of yourself and we all soaked that in. We live each day with a sense of gratitude for your short but amazing life. This world is a better, more wondrous place because you were in it. Your life has inspired so many to be better to do better to be more present and more loving. I hope you can feel our love for you.
Happy Birthday my sweet girl. We miss you and love you more than words could ever describe. Give Sophie a big hug for me
Love,
~Mom
